Today while writing the review for Yahan Pyar Nahi Hai Episode 3, I was exclusively joined by a ninja vampire who roams the greasy streets of Pakistan in order to suck the blood out of actors, writers, directors, crew members and characters that grace our TV screens everyday.

Hey buddy, welcome to DP drama reviews, thanks for joining me today.  While my day is just beginning, how is the night time treating you? I hear it’s the most active time for you to roam, you know you must be quiet hungry; I hear there are way too many good dramas gracing our screens today. Any thoughts on whose blood you might suck tonight or maybe not…?

You know you are right! There have been too many good dramas on our screens lately and I am merely reduced to snacking on most nights (weekends are the worst…my stomach grumbles loudly during those nights BUT while there might be some really PRODIGIOUS  dramas gracing our screens out there, the trash also thrown out by production houses has no limits. It’s like they invite us creatures to “open blood-sucking-bar party” so we can chug all the blood we can! So all in all I never really go hungry, for example tonight is my night! Please I have very little time so let’s hurry this up…

Yes, yes of course, so I watched Yahan Pyar Nahi Hai just a few hours ago, I am not sure how I feel about it so far… I mean we are on episode number 3 and hmmmm I am still kind of sitting on a fence. Maybe because I really like Faiza Ifthikhar and Saba Qamar and they both have produced such wonderful stuff. Ninja vampire please don’t give me that look, I know how much you dislike them!!! I am sure you go hungry on those nights where one of these two is part of the drama team?

Forget about sucking blood from these two personalities, I wouldn’t touch these two with a 10 foot pole BUT for some reason my leering long nailed finger is quivering tonight in order to taste their scrumptious blood. You know I still have to wonder how many times one single dialogue can be repeated throughout three episodes. Its reminding me of a nightmare I had where I was trapped in Hamoon jadoogar and bil batoori’s cave and they were sitting in front of their black handi constantly repeating “jahil gawanar aurat… jahil gawanar aurat… jahil gawanar aurat… jahil gawanar aurat… jahil gawanar aurat…”

Well let’s not get sidetracked with your nightmares! While I agree with you about repeated dialogues I wanted your insight into progress of this episode, I mean what makes you feel that all the people involved in the making of this play need to have their throats scratched by your um shiny pointing teeth?

Now we are talking and my mouth is watering already. As you must have noticed:

Character issues:

We already have established from past two episodes that Saim’s character seriously has superiority complex issues and putting his wife down is his favourite hobby. And then we have a wife who enjoys being put down (and has been doing that for past 7 years.). What is missing in the story or character development is we never really get insight into Haleema’s thoughts or why she never says anything back to her husband or tells her chacha chichi about the situation in her home. Apnoon ko apna kehnay ka kiya faida when you are not able to share your sorrows with them.

Similarly, we have Sabhi who is acting like an archetypical desi overprotective brother and you berated Shumaila’s character in the last review enough times. My only problem with all characters is that they all seem too black and white and combined that with weak and too much OTT acting…it is quite a charming combination to turn off viewers. Although throughout the episode I was very fascinated by Saba Qamar’s perfectly French manicured nails. They reminded me off…

Getting past Saba Qamar’s French Manicured nails ….let’s keep this conversation on track shall we?

Sorry sorry, did I go off a bit track there…There was no progress of the story until the very end. The episode was divided into three scenes, most of whose content could have been edited. We find out that Saim had initially proposed to Zunnairah but she refused. Zunnairah is also very outspoken about her thoughts and also crosses the line with Saim, which makes  viewers realize that Saim’s ideal partner might not exactly be right for him as he envisions. Taking a turn into Shumaila’s life, I was glad that she had some slaps to knock sense into the thick head of hers. Maybe her brother should have wrung her neck right there (but then there is so much ample blood supply that comes from Shumaila alone that I wouldn’t want it to go to waste…khair the episode ends with Saim realizing that he is still young and zinda dil and will not have jahil gawanar aurat for company anymore… (But catch the twist, he is still not going to give up on his first wife because although she is jahil gawanar and has takiyanosi sooch BUT “house and children are disturbed” when she is not there! ..wah wah wah… sooch par daad deni chahiye…), well I can go on and on about negative things, any positive vibes you received from the episode?

Not really I think with weak characters, weak acting combined with pretty untreatable and predictable story, I am trying my best to think of positives but I can’t seem to highlight any!  We are already into three episodes and it shouldn’t take that long for some real action to happen. As Zunahirah said “sitaroon say agay jahan aur bhi hain…” Until next time Ninja Vampire while I pray that this drama gets better and all characters and their actions are justified and some common sense knocked into each one of their heads. Thanks your exclusive insights into tonight’s episode of Yahan Pyar Nahi Hai… I don’t know should I be glad or be sad in informing you that you are going to have enough blood supply to last you for next few weeks…hopefully production houses learn not to take their viewers for granted and start to produce more thought provoking dramas…