According to a well-known adage marriages are made in heaven; however, as Durre Shehwar ably demonstrates, this is certainly not true of our desi set-up. Here a vast majority of our marriages are arranged, formalized, and later messed up by the well-intentioned families of the couple involved.
Today we saw a young Durre Shehwar trying to come to terms with not only a husband who was a stranger to her, but also adjusting to her in-laws’ household, which was not only socio-economically far removed from that of her parents’, but where the lifestyle too was completely different from the one she had left behind. Here is my question to all parents: When arranging marriages, is it enough to just look at the sharfat of the family involved? Rather than waxing philosophical, wealth is not the only criteria by which a person’s worth should be measured, why not take a reality check and acknowledge that yes, social and economic differences can and do make or break a marriage. Moreover, once such an ill-matched affair has been formalized, why not prepare your daughter for the realities of life. Watching Durre Shehwar fumble her way through, it was clear that she was completely clueless as to what to expect of her married life. Here, I would lay the majority of the blame on Durre Shehwar’s parents. If she was going to be eventually pushed into an arranged marriage, why not begin early and prepare her mentally, rather than just blithely informing her about her upcoming marriage. Of course, the in-laws are not above blame either. They certainly need to be taken to task for the crass way with which Durre Shehwar was welcomed into the family. Clearly, no sensitivity points for them!
Even as I point to the parents, as I was watching today, I also wanted to give Durre Shehwar a hard shake and ask her to get with the program. Yes, life sucks, but girl, nobody’s asking you to now turn into a long-suffering heroine. There were at least two points in the episode where we saw Mansoor trying to open the channel of communication between the two, but Durre Shehwar was unable to step up to the plate and capitalize on those moments. Similarly, Mansoor too needs a stern talking to – why marry when you clearly cannot stand up for yourself, forget about standing up for your wife! Aaargh!
Here, I have to give kudos to Umera Ahmed for her beautifully written script. By showing us all facets of a marital reationship, she clearly illustrates that here there are no winners and losers, no heroes and heroines, all are responsible and equally implicated. Haisam Hussain deserves applause for bringing Umera’s story to life so sensitively. Durre Shehwar, Mansoor, Shandana, Haider, and the adorable Sophie, are not just characters on the TV screen, but real people, who live among us and within us. The actors look and act the part. All performances are top-notch. They make us empathize, sympathize, and get irritated, with them and at them. Take a bow Haisam & Co!
My only irritation today was with the background score – talk about a major buzzkill! It was too loud, particularly the crass suspense-filled music, when Durre-Shehwar was talking to her mother-in-law in her room, was jarring to the ears; it didn’t gel well at all with the artistic sensibility with which the scenes were unfolding on screen. Could we please have the background music lowered, or better yet muted?
Written by SZ~ [email protected]
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