Jab bhi bolta hai zeher hi ugalta hai. 

Right on point, Rudaba, right on point! Those of you familiar with the mechanics of our dramas whether filmi or not will concur with me when I say “Uff teri ada“! Bashar sahab I like the way you move, I like to see you move, and uff teri nazar it says I want to dance with you! Now if only Rudaba will jump on that bandwagon. If only…

Jogi naachlay… raang rach day… Bashar aur Tayyaba ki aadaon ka raang to abhi jalwa-firouz hua hai (right usage, RJ, bata dain?!)

Bashar Momin is like Tayyaba rightly says: “Same kahani, same takleefain” but in a completely different andaaz! When you come to think of it Bashar could be Khizer, Tayyaba could be Sara, and our lovebirds Rudaba and Buland could pass of for some version of Khirad-Ashar (sorry boys, ladies first!) yet the stylistic difference between the two is like zameen-asmaan.

In a rather dismal creative atmosphere, yes, HUM TV I’m looking squarely at you (in the eye too!), I’m pleasantly impressed with Syed Ali Raza’s chatpatta and masala inspired rendition of desi dons and romeos without resorting to the default mazloom status quo. Is it any wonder that this man directed Main Hoon Shahid Afridi, a film meant to usher the revival of Pakistani cinema (more on Pakistani Cinema shortly peeps keep reading)?! His filmi aadyaein have one deewana in me, khawateen and hazrat.

Would Rudaba and Bashar’s seven minute pizza sequence with voiceovers included be anything other than filmi? Could Tayyaba and Bashar’s plotting not be filmi? Don’t Buland and his insecurity ka shikar dil aur dimagh inspire a thousand filmi-romeos? And does Adira’s (Adil-Sahira) sudden disappearance not reek of many a filmi plot line? Okay, okay, you get the filmi! Let’s move on.

Buland miyan aap to chaa gaye ho what with that t-shirt: “I Make My Own Word Record”. May I politely ask kaun sa record? ::insert bemused eyebrow raise here::

Records or no records our ishq ka shikar banker is having his first lovers tiff all inspired by his own insecurity. As much as I understand where you’re coming from Buland, I cannot help but be on Rudaba’s side (and no there’s no bro-code when it comes to doing the right thing!). You’re the one with the past – those two girlfriends, those flirty gestures with Tayyaba, that boyish charm, which clouds your judgment on our mashriqi ladki.

As for said ladki you need a BFF! What, what, what were you thinking? No matter what he says DO NOT enter his room, DO NOT concede to him, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT engage him. What really got to me was Bashar saying: “Nahi, tumhay mera saath jana hai”, yaar, yeh acchi zabardasti hai! Why is it so hard for our women to put their foot down? Clearly our drama makers don’t have mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters. Kyun Asif Raza Mir sahab…? ::insert knowing smile here::

With more of the same, same – jealousy, anger, hushed whispers – this episode was like going in a circle. Rudaba and Buland ek doosaray say naraaz hain, ab sula ho rahee hai, ab phir naraaz hain, same track, back to back.

What was different though was Tayyaba’s shift. If last week I had any doubts about her involvement in this despicable scheme, this week I know for sure she’s on board. The scene in her bedroom with dark shadows was well done! The way the camera frames Bashar and Tayyaba as they seal their dastardly bond worked very well.

In the same vein, the camerawork is getting better with each episode. For instance, the scene at the Momin mansion with Buland waiting and Tayyaba scheming was beautifully framed. Tayyaba in front of a Hussain-inspired painting, Buland next to the verandah door, with the entire room flooded with light. I, for one, absolutely loved it! Do I sense Hamdardi in action? I guess Adeel isn’t the only one who succumbs to it.

BUT, BUT, BUT Faysal Quraishi in a red silk gown and pyjamas with some variation of Greek sandals (no, they’re not Birkenstocks!) with his hipster haircut and black banyan all coupled with a tabiz around his neck stole the show for me. Not to mention his OTT acting all eyebrow raise, climactic music, especially as he spouts to the camera: “Murday ko soong kay bata daita hoon…” Wah kya talent hai!

Faysal bhai aapki aadaon par yeh gaana nazar karta hoon: Uff teri ada!

Aadaaon say yaad aaya next week is Basant (Hello filmi!) and I, for one, am curious to see what happens next.

Until then,

Rab Rakha aur Shaba Bakhair!

This is RB signing off. (Tweet me!)

P.S. Buland, If you’d like to tell me what that world record is… let me know.